Beliefs & Behaviours
Exploring the Mindsets That Shape Performance and Change
This compilation is an educational resource developed by the British School of Coaching. This series is compiled as a foundational resource for coaches in training. Each article introduces a practical coaching tool or model, grounded in theory and supported by real-world application. Whether you’re preparing for ILM coaching qualifications or looking to deepen your understanding of best practice in coaching, this series offers research-informed insights to strengthen your coaching toolkit.
In coaching, beliefs are powerful drivers of behaviour. What individuals believe—about themselves, others, and the world—shapes how they interpret situations, respond to challenges, and pursue goals. For coaches, understanding and exploring beliefs is essential for supporting transformational change in clients.
This section explores the Beliefs of Excellence, a set of empowering assumptions that underpin personal growth, effective leadership, and high performance across many fields. These beliefs are commonly held by successful individuals—entrepreneurs, survivors, athletes, and leaders—who have persevered through adversity and achieved extraordinary outcomes.
The Beliefs of Excellence
These beliefs are not necessarily “true” in a scientific sense, but they are useful. They support a mindset of resilience, openness, and personal agency—qualities essential for coaching success.
“The beliefs of excellence give us more resourceful ways of responding to less-than-ideal situations, in ways most likely to lead to win–win outcomes.” (p. 245)
Key beliefs include:
- Each person is unique
- Everyone makes the best choice available to them at the time
- There is no failure, only feedback
- Behind every behaviour is a positive intention
- The meaning of the communication is the effect it has
- There is a solution to every problem
- We have all the resources we need within us
- The person with the most flexibility has the greatest influence
- Mind and body are part of the same system
- Knowledge, thought, memory and imagination are shaped by how we filter and store information
Each Person is Unique
Everyone views the world through their own “map” of reality, shaped by experiences, culture, and personal filters. When we truly believe that every person’s map is unique—and valuable—we open ourselves to curiosity, compassion, and connection.
| Those who believe this… | Those who don’t… |
| Are open, cooperative, and receptive to feedback | Are rigid, defensive, and quick to dismiss |
| See differences as strengths | Believe their way is the only right way |
| Practice listening, empathy, and reflection | React with blame or control |
| Seek feedback for growth | Rationalise or resist feedback |
| Feel curious and relaxed | Feel frustrated or stressed |
| Discover new insights and potential in others | Remain stuck or stagnant |
Believing in uniqueness fosters a learning environment that respects difference and promotes performance.
Everyone Makes the Best Choice Available at the Time
When someone behaves in a way we find unhelpful or frustrating, this belief reminds us that they are acting from the best set of options they perceive in that moment.
Example:
If a colleague dominates a meeting, rather than labelling them as controlling, we might ask: “What might they be trying to achieve?” Perhaps it’s about being heard, valued, or asserting their place. From that perspective, a coach can provide more effective feedback and influence.
This belief also helps us release regret about our own past choices. We did what we could, with the resources and awareness we had at the time.
There is No Failure, Only Feedback
When things don’t go to plan, we have a choice: to internalise it as failure, or to view it as information that helps us adapt and improve.
This belief builds resilience and encourages a growth mindset—critical in coaching. It empowers clients to:
- Take calculated risks
- Learn from experience
- Reframe setbacks as stepping stones to success
It also protects self-esteem and boosts confidence during personal and professional challenges.
Behind Every Behaviour is a Positive Intention
This powerful presupposition asks us to assume that people’s actions—even when difficult—are driven by an intention that, in their view, is positive or protective.
Example:
A colleague who interrupts frequently might not be rude but rather anxious to contribute, or afraid of not being heard. Believing in positive intent allows us to respond with empathy rather than frustration.
This belief doesn’t excuse poor behaviour, but it gives us more choice in how we interpret and respond to it, ultimately protecting our own confidence and wellbeing.
The Meaning of Communication is the Effect It Has
This belief shifts the responsibility for communication from intention to impact. It invites us to reflect on how our words and actions land with others, and to take that feedback seriously.
Example:
- If your team is motivated and collaborative, that reflects effective leadership.
- If a colleague is offended by your feedback, it’s an opportunity to consider how it was delivered—not just what was said.
This belief encourages flexibility, reflection, and accountability—core coaching competencies.
There is a Solution to Every Problem
Believing that every problem has a solution—even if it’s not obvious—helps us remain resourceful under pressure. It invites creativity, innovation, and persistence.
In coaching, this belief unlocks possibility thinking. It encourages clients to:
- Reframe obstacles as challenges
- Brainstorm new approaches
- Shift from helplessness to agency
We Have All the Resources We Need Within Us
Each of us carries a unique set of strengths, experiences, and internal resources. Coaching helps uncover and activate these often-unrealised capabilities.
Example:
Before a difficult appraisal or presentation, a client can be guided to recall a moment when they felt confident and effective. Tapping into this inner resource strengthens self-belief and primes them for success.
The Person with the Most Flexibility Has the Most Influence
Mental flexibility is as trainable as physical flexibility. This belief supports the idea that adaptability—not power or position—is what allows people to lead, influence, and perform effectively.
In coaching, building a client’s range of responses expands their potential. They learn that if one approach doesn’t work, another might.
Mind and Body Are Part of the Same System
Thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected with our physical state. This belief reminds us that:
- Changing how we think can shift how we feel
- Our body language can impact confidence and mood
- Maintaining physical wellbeing supports mental clarity
Coaching that includes somatic awareness, breathing techniques, and visualisation can be especially powerful when this belief is embraced.
Knowledge, Thought, Memory and Imagination Are Filtered
We don’t perceive reality directly—we filter it through our beliefs, values, experiences, and language. Understanding this helps coaches and clients alike to:
- Examine limiting beliefs
- Change unhelpful mental patterns
- Cultivate intentional, empowered thinking
As one author put it:
“Managing your thinking processes is at the heart of being able to manage yourself.” (p. 255)
In Conclusion
Beliefs shape behaviour. For coaches and clients alike, adopting the Beliefs of Excellence creates a foundation for growth, resilience, and success. These beliefs can be explored, strengthened, and even changed—leading to new insights, greater self-awareness, and sustainable personal and professional development.
References
- Bandler, R. and Grinder, J. (1979). Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming. Real People Press.
- Dilts, R. (1996). Beliefs: Pathways to Health and Well-being. Meta Publications.
- Dilts, R., Hallbom, T., and Smith, S. (1990). Beliefs: The Heart of Personal Effectiveness. Meta Publications.
- Knight, S. (2002). NLP at Work: The Difference that Makes the Difference in Business. Nicholas Brealey Publishing.
- O’Connor, J. and Seymour, J. (1990). Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People. Thorsons.
