Emotional Intelligence in Coaching
Why EQ Matters More Than You Think
This compilation is an educational resource developed by the British School of Coaching. This series is compiled as a foundational resource for coaches in training. Each article introduces a practical coaching tool or model, grounded in theory and supported by real-world application. Whether you’re preparing for ILM coaching qualifications or looking to deepen your understanding of best practice in coaching, this series offers research-informed insights to strengthen your coaching toolkit.
For many years, traditional education and assessment systems have prioritised Intelligence Quotient (IQ)—a measure of abilities such as reasoning, logic, and language skills. But IQ alone is not a reliable predictor of success in work or life.
Research, most notably by psychologist Daniel Goleman (1995), shows that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) plays a significantly larger role in determining an individual’s effectiveness, wellbeing, and relationships—especially in leadership, collaboration, and personal development. For coaches, understanding and cultivating emotional intelligence is not optional—it’s foundational.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence refers to the ability to:
- Understand your own emotions
- Manage those emotions in appropriate ways
- Recognise emotions in others
- Use emotional awareness to guide thinking and behaviour
- Maintain positive relationships and motivate oneself
While IQ may account for around 20% of life outcomes, the other 80% is influenced by factors such as environment, emotional regulation, and social awareness—core components of emotional intelligence.
Key Components of Emotional Intelligence
Goleman (1995) expanded on earlier work by psychologists like Howard Gardner to identify five key dimensions of emotional intelligence:
- Self-Awareness: Recognising and understanding your emotions, triggers, and inner dialogue. This is the foundation for all other emotional competencies.
- Self-Regulation: Managing disruptive emotions and impulses, staying composed and flexible, especially under pressure.
- Motivation: Harnessing emotions to pursue goals with energy and persistence—delaying gratification and maintaining a hopeful outlook.
- Empathy: Sensing others’ feelings, understanding perspectives, and responding with compassion. Empathy is critical in coaching, leadership, and teamwork.
- Social Skills: Managing relationships effectively, resolving conflict, influencing others positively, and building networks.
These five domains are not fixed traits—they are learnable skills that can be developed with awareness, feedback, and intentional practice.
EQ and Coaching Practice
Emotional intelligence is not just helpful in coaching—it is central to it.
As a coach, your ability to:
- Recognise your emotional responses (e.g. frustration, judgment, anxiety)
- Remain non-reactive during difficult conversations
- Tune into what your coachee is feeling (beyond what they’re saying)
- Create psychological safety and trust
- Ask questions that align with your coachee’s emotional state
… all rely on well-developed emotional intelligence.
Similarly, coaching clients often seek support because they are struggling to regulate emotion, build relationships, or navigate interpersonal challenges. Helping them grow in emotional literacy can unlock transformational change.
The Wider Impact of Emotional Intelligence
Research suggests that emotional intelligence is not only linked to individual wellbeing and performance but also to broader social outcomes. A lack of emotional literacy has been associated with:
- Increased stress and burnout
- Conflict in relationships
- Bullying in schools and workplaces
- Addiction and mental health issues
- Underperformance in academic and professional settings
The good news? Emotional intelligence can be taught, developed, and modelled—in schools, organisations, families, and coaching relationships.
Conclusion
IQ may get you through exams, but EQ determines how well you navigate life. As a coach, developing your emotional intelligence is essential for deep listening, creating trust, and supporting change. Equally, coaching conversations are a powerful space for coachees to increase their own emotional awareness and capability.
Coaching with emotional intelligence isn’t just more effective—it’s more human.
References:
- Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
- Goleman, D. (1998). Working with Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books.
- Gardner, H. (1983). Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences. Basic Books.
- Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.
- Cox, E., Bachkirova, T., & Clutterbuck, D. (2018). The Complete Handbook of Coaching. Sage.
